| "if only i had an enemy bigger than my apathy, i could have won." | ||||
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"home is wherever i'm with you." - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
i have a habit of wandering, therefore i get lost a lot. | ||||
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apologizing again. / Tuesday, December 30, 2008 @ 1:11 AM
to a friend who knocked some sense into me today, i'm sorry for doing this to you constantly, sorry for dumping all my problems on you. that everytime you pick your phone up and see my name flashing that you'd know what to expect to hear from me. thing is, when i call you all i expect to hear are six words ; "what did you do this time?" i don't do what i do, because i think my life sucks. i don't know if you'll ever understand but i hope you can. i do what i do; we do what we do because it's the way we are i guess. it's a lifestyle we chose. and i may be a fool to chose it, but what else can i do? i sat alone on christmas eve i stayed all night watching reruns in my living room, crunching on a bag of chips. it kept me happy, but what else could a lonely girl wish for? and on the day of christmas itself, all i got was the presence of being alone. but the past few nights and days ever since have been great. sure, i miss the times i had when i was not this fucked. but some of us, can't freely chose our paths. what happens to me, happens to a lot of people out there. and i just wanted to tell someone, to have someone listen and not judge me. you know, it's so hard for me to talk to people. but i decided to call you today, because i was thinking "she would believe me. she would listen to me." i love you too, and care about you too.
and i'm sorry if i've been stupid and foolish lately. but that's the way i am. if we are ever going to stay friends, we'll have to understand our differences. | ||||
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