atonement.

chasing cars.

2009-11-19T11:25:00.002+08:00

"you wear your skin too tight."

try tomorrow.

2009-11-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

you're the smoke in the air,

making everyone choke;

but me.

act amenable.

2009-11-13T00:15:00.002+08:00

*insert something witty*

- sometimes the right thing to say,

is nothing at all.

biting bullets.

2009-11-11T23:28:00.000+08:00

"today,

is just a good day

in disguise."

intolerable insult.

2009-11-09T22:06:00.008+08:00

"songs that

make me

think of you,

with words

that say

what i'm not

saying."

really rusty.

2009-11-08T18:14:00.002+08:00

i'll photoshop

your face,

if you don't

shut the fuck up.

sweet surrender.

2009-11-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

"let me discover

all of the hidden secrets

you keep from yourself."

lady luck.

2009-11-05T22:13:00.008+08:00

"not all who wonder,

are lost."

terrible treasure.

2009-11-04T19:47:00.005+08:00

"you're just

another story

i can't

tell anymore."

current crush.

2009-11-03T14:58:00.012+08:00

"love me when i

least deserve it,

because that is when

i really need it."

daily dosage.

2009-11-02T20:32:00.011+08:00

the picture says it all.

hello haikus.

2009-10-31T20:23:00.000+08:00

sexually frustrated?

you

have

no idea.

stop smiling.

2009-10-30T22:58:00.007+08:00

"some things are true,

whether you believe in them

or not."

absolutely adorable.

2009-10-29T22:59:00.010+08:00

"you only live once,

but if you do it right,

once is enough."

and i type in colours,

to make up for the lack of them

in my life.

weeping wounds.

2009-10-28T19:07:00.013+08:00

we both know that
you spell
my
name with those
lips of yours,
every time you are with

another

girl.

laugh louder.

2009-10-27T23:30:00.002+08:00

the bittersweet taste of yours,
still lingers on my lips.

so i laugh louder,
to catch your attention.

have you been listening?

can't commit.

2009-10-26T19:56:00.014+08:00

"you remind me of
a song i used to love,"

"i'm a great burning
lament to this day."

♥

fast forward.

2009-10-25T19:34:00.001+08:00

i'm not so sure anymore.

becoming bruised.

2009-10-24T11:55:00.000+08:00

"Gentlemen,

your temptress has arrived.
she's perfectly disguised.

in black and white with
dollar signs and dotted lines.
with my hands upon her hips...
the notion of a kiss.

the candles lit. i can't commit.
this feather's dipped in ink.
a tattoo that never heals.

she's asking me to
sign right here."

we are all blinded
by appendages and
so we are bruised.

increasingly insecure.

2009-10-23T19:34:00.005+08:00

"sweet darling,
this is my confession
to the crimes of
wanting you so badly.

and darlin' if you're
wondering here's your answer

yes i like you,
i don't love you
i can't love you

yet."

everyone else.

2009-10-22T23:23:00.003+08:00

"she dispels smoke from her lips
and floats away with it.
letting go of so much pain,
her tears are thick enough to stain."

"you're as sleek
as the words you speak."

magic mushrooms.

2009-10-21T23:10:00.002+08:00

like a verbal punching bag;

i
swing
back
and
forth.

"i'll describe the way i feel,
you're my new achilles heel."

diving down.

2009-10-20T09:49:00.003+08:00

and:
my eyes blink,
my heart goes,
and it feels so hollow,

like an empty room.

♡

where did all the love go?

predictable patterns.

2009-10-20T09:39:00.004+08:00

"cross my heart, hope to die
i swear i wont say what
happened that night."

i'm but a girl,
just like the rest of
your victims. ♥

"i'll hold your tears as a ransom,
within the palm of my hand."

sugar skulls.

2009-10-19T16:44:00.003+08:00

"she's just a little girl,
she knows nothing of this
little game
we like to
play."

there are no winners but
only losers; in the game of ~~lust~~ love.

in italic.

2009-10-19T16:18:00.006+08:00

one by one

deux

too true to be true

trois

i ask of three words

quatre

from you, for me

one

two
three

my heart slowly beats

four
five
six

it stops.

"and if you never had my heart,
i would've never called you back."

evenly endorsed.

2009-10-18T19:13:00.004+08:00

there's

a

reason

why

my

story

isn't

rated

and the reason is you.

hollow hearts.

2009-10-17T17:14:00.003+08:00

my vision blurs,
and i find myself stuck.

you are the Grindelwald to my Dumbledore,
the Mab to my Merlin, the Napolean to my Wellington;

what else is there to say?

so we sing the same lyrics,
listen to the same songs,
hum to the same tune.

that doesn't make us the same.

"if i liked you would you like that
if i kissed you would you kiss back"

can't comprehend.

2009-10-16T00:18:00.002+08:00

my head is throbbing
and i feel like a part of me is missing.

if i ever fucking see him again,
i will fucking kill him.

and that isn't a metaphor.

melancholic music.

2009-10-13T19:14:00.002+08:00

it's the music that we listen to that gives away
our true inner emotions.

nowadays, i find myself lost.
there's no reason.
i'm happy, or so it seems.

i know i am, i've made some sacrifices
and they were worth it.
but somehow, sometimes, somewhere
i still find myself face down against my pillow
soaking wet, tainted with dissolved salt.

i'm happy though. but i don't know for how long.

but there's always something missing.

i just don't what
or who it is.

"but like a dream you disappeared
without a sound, without a trace"

all i know is that if i were to be a magician,
i would have perfected the disappearing act.

dreadful downfall.

2009-10-04T23:41:00.003+08:00

there's this thing that turns me on;

sadly, it isn't you.

because in my eyes,

you are just another boy

who failed

to keep me

company

in my moment of need.

thousand tragedies.

2009-09-29T21:27:00.002+08:00

i've decided,

'your face tells a thousand lies.'

and because of that, i've concluded;

you're not worth it.

starting sober.

2009-09-27T16:22:00.003+08:00

"today, i started loving you again"

how many years has it been
since we last talked?

since we last really talked...
too many; i lost count even.

"i'm right back where i've really always been
i got over you just long enough to let my heartache mend
and then today i started loving you again"

it's ill.

2009-09-23T17:54:00.002+08:00

"your virginity, your old virginity is like one of our French wither'd pears: it looks ill, it eats drily."

got to love shakespeare.

boy band.

2009-09-16T19:52:00.004+08:00

"he gives you something to look forward to, doesn't he?

he played the same game with me too."

so don't be fooled,

he's the Oscar Wildean fantasy,
Poe's wet dream,
Austen's famous male princes

but in the end we all know that he is just

one
big
fucking
joke.

mimicking midnight.

2009-09-14T18:14:00.004+08:00

"you're never alone but you are always on your own."

i want my own prince albert,
someone who is willing to take a bullet for me.
someone who will whisper to me that i am his one and only
and shall never be replaceable.

so come to me,
even if you have to lie.
just say it,
i want to hear it.

please, please, please

lie to me.

it's things like this that makes me want to believe in love,
but it's reality that mainly stops me.

this time.

2009-09-13T15:13:00.002+08:00

this time when i tell you those three words;

will you say it back?

"cause we've been here before,
and it's getting old."

crazy concerned.

2009-09-12T19:29:00.004+08:00

"one of these days
one of these very ordinary days
you're gonna call my name

and i won't be there

after the days
after these very very many days

you're gonna see the light
and i won't be there."

"and i was positive you were

someone worth fighting for."

her heart.

2009-09-06T18:10:00.004+08:00

i know it's been a while since i've posted anything,
but i've been drafting and the reason why i did not
publish any of them was because i was waiting for something...
something worth publishing or someone who is worth writing about.

and today should be that day.
so this is for you; hopefully you know who you are.

i don't know if you're avoiding me,
or if you are somehow mad at me,
whatever it is, it doesn't matter.

there's much i have to say,
but i shouldn't write it here.
i just wanted to post something for you.
i just wanted you to know,

that i, along with everyone else, are here for you.

and when you ask yourself why it's so hard,
it's because we love you darling.

so much.

"And don't apologize for all the tears you've cried
You've been way too strong now for all your life"

furious fancies.

2009-09-05T14:39:00.004+08:00

"i had such a dream last night.
i was floating above the trees
with my lips connected to those of a beautiful figure."

"whose lips? were they my lips?"

and we all wish for our own love story.

frenching flattery.

2009-06-21T13:36:00.002+08:00

"c'est toi, ma belle."

he's always had a way with words.

eternally enamored.

2009-06-19T21:05:00.006+08:00

and me, i ran, i couldn't even look at him,
for fear i'd have to say goodbye.

i can't take a breath without feeling
the regret of my jealousy.

over oxymorons.

2009-06-19T20:47:00.004+08:00

and the lyrics continue to talk about
my aching heart.

for once will you listen?

yes, even stars break

you don't even have a clue to what's going on.

and i'm always looking back on our scripted memories.

i bet you don't even think about our past.

you cover it up, but the pain never stops.

we were once something and it all disappeared like nothing.

and as our eyes start to close

i turn to you, just to let you know

that i love you.

you were my sweetest downfall

pity party.

2009-06-18T17:33:00.002+08:00

history; it's there for us to learn from our mistakes.

looking through ours, it made me notice
that maybe i am the one to blame.

but you love salting my wounds,
and seem to enjoy nothing more.

almost always.

2009-06-16T18:55:00.000+08:00

fate is an elegant cold hearted whore,
but you're worse.

drunken divisions.

2009-06-16T18:06:00.001+08:00

there's a knife on my back,

care to get it out yourself?

guessing game.

2009-06-16T11:32:00.000+08:00

i'm so sick of this game,
this game with only you
who knows the rules.

just when i was about to lose myself completely,
and finally let someone in
and take a chance,
you drop my heart and leave it in pieces.

and now i am afraid, again.

so i bid farewell, and i forfeit
the game that i can never win.

twisted thoughts.

2009-05-25T17:06:00.003+08:00

when a man is orally pleasured by a woman,
who bends down on her knees and opens her mouth;
wide and open.
people perceive it to be an act that objectifies women

to be the weaker sex.
the fragile ones.
the sex slaves.

but i beg to differ,
a woman is never more powerful but when she has
the most precious jewel a man can behold

right in her mouth.

drop dead.

2009-05-24T19:41:00.003+08:00

"i don't wanna know that you know it should have been me,"

i fucking hate her,
and i fucking love you.

enough is enough, i'm sick of this bullshit.

and sometimes it's better if you don't ask.

intensive innuendos.

2009-04-26T22:51:00.002+08:00

this goes to you, whether you know it or not.

i do not want you nor do i need you,
but i wish to breathe you in
and feel the lush of your lips sink into my own.

i do not want you nor do i need you,
but i wish to taste the sweetness held and concealed
within the fragmentation of your figure.

i do not want you nor do i need you,
but i wish to hold you close to my deary breaking ill heart
just so i can smell that musky scent that drives me nuts.

it's you that i think of,

not all the time but you consume most of my thoughts.

your face,

illuminates my dark and dirty thoughts.

your voice,

echoes the tunnel of my mind.

your scent,

stinks up my nasal vase.

i do not feel any immense and fervent feelings
yet i somehow feel drawn to you,
should i be cursed and punished for how i feel?

i was once before, feeling similar emotions,
pointedly towards a boy who broke my heart.
but this is different.

i do not like you.

i do not love you.

i do not hate you.

i hate thinking
i despise wondering
i abhor meditating
i dislike deliberating
i detest reflecting
i execrate contemplating

especially when all that's in my mind,
is you and only you.

i do not want you nor do i need you,

and yet something inside me is screaming

"DENIAL"

lipless librarian.

2009-04-19T15:43:00.005+08:00

[and here i go again,
sexually inspired; that's what i am.
but i speak the truth,
so i, jarrah lim, plead "not guilty"
when it comes to insanity.]

i'm the man; or so she said.

her demure facade. her polite smiles.
her vulnerable side. her elegant nature.

it all conceals what she truly is;
a ravenous, sex crazed nymphomaniac.
a stupendous, sexually obssessed woman.
a deprived, vaginal beast.

and she will only let me in; or so she stated.
only i am man enough to enter her,
to know every bit of her,
to see through her,
to swallow and taste her Holy Grail.

i was more than man.

i was a God who has been granted
the taste, the feel, the touch

of the divine perfection,
the divine creation of the female genocide.

"your special," she whispered
and she left me thinking i was special.
that i was in control,

that i was certainly "the man"

it made me want to please her,
it made me give in,
it made me work harder, faster, stronger.
she spread her legs wide open,
she parted her lips wide open,
she dilated.

"i work in a library," she had also mentioned.
as stupid as it sounds, it was sexy.
but i don't read books, it never interested me.
the string of words and sentences; it just wasn't me.
and yet, that very evening, i found myself opening the doors
to the public library, not knowing what was waiting for me.
instantly there was a smell of books and papers,
the sound of people coughing and wheezing quietly,
and yet only the sight of her caught me.

she pulled me in, like a magnetic force.
i was attracted and she pulled me in,
and i had no where to hide or run.
i was, trapped
and i was forced to surrender.

she let me in, that's the real problem.
my manhood could be abnormally big,
and she would still have the strength

to pull me in,
deeper
harder
and stronger.

her kisses, oh her sweet kisses.
she masqueraded, she paraded
around with her sugar coated tongue
when it came to entering my coffee stained mouth,
which my dentist has always disapproved off.
but now, i have cavities from all the sweetness
and yet my molars have not ached.

she is my drug, my antidote all in one.
oh how fortunate i am to have come across
such a wonderful woman. who penetrates me
even when she has climaxed, just so i can
get a feel of that euphoria.
such a wonderful woman as she leads me on
with that significant feminine hormonal fragrance
like no other i have encountered before.

her kisses, where more than just pecks.
her touch, was more than just fiddling.
her skin, was more than just soft.
her breasts, were more than just supple.
her lips, were more than just luscious.
her other lips, left me breathless.

even for a librarian, she had the best taste in fashion.
with her Chanel black coat, and well designed Marc Jacobs dress
i found it hard to believe she was a librarian.

but then again who cares about the lie
if it created such a beautiful illusion.

her expensive and fashionable clothes,
looked best where they landed.

all rumpled up and disheveled.

OH, that was art, i tell you.
and my best work back in my younger days
was a simple stickman on a wrinkly page.
yet, i was able to create havoc
on the floor with her clothes with just my hands.

the art of undressing, never underestimate it.

she licked me, with a flick of her sensuous tongue.
she kissed me, with a part of her luscious lips.
she fucked me, with a twist of her lustful body.

but at the end of the night,
at the end of all these,
it leaves me thinking.

the librarian, how i miss her,
was a true seductress.
she lied to me when she said "i was the man."
because she was always the one in control,
always the one who was in power,

it was never me.

but then again who cares about the lie

if it created such a beautiful illusion.

sublimal seduction.

2009-04-17T14:06:00.000+08:00

the cigar,
the act of putting it in your mouth,
the act of sucking the very end,
the act of smoking it with diffusing puffs,

the act of letting go,

the cigar.

the pill,
the act of popping it in,
the act of waiting in anticipation,
the act of getting a good feel,

the act of letting go,

the pill.

the cocktail,
the act of sipping on it,
the act of tasting the burn,
the act of wincing from the bittersweet taste,

the act of letting go,

the cocktail.

the sex,
the act of two people undressing,
the act of one's lips on another,
the act of wondering hands,

the act of going in,

the sex.

pageant parade.

2009-04-13T18:45:00.003+08:00

obssessed:

"you're such a wreck,
the cutest accident."

addicted:

"another night waiting
for someone to take me home."

possessed:

"tell me i'm special,

even though i know i'm not."

convicted:

"if you look closer, it's easy to trace
the tracks of my tears."

and each song is stuck on my iPod
on a playlist called

'things that remind me of you.'

2009-04-10T23:26:00.002+08:00

lips locked.

2009-04-08T12:48:00.001+08:00

"the paper cuts, the cheating lovers."

the kiss, unfinished;
lips locked, twist and turn.
meet the man; unperturbed,
and inescapable are his charms
as she is stuck in his muscled arms.
jump, shake, shiver; go on
but the desire has won,
and nothing shall halt
the hands form the basic fault.
roam, foam and storm
the clouds as the rain,
drops one by one.

"glistening in the cold sweat of guilt."

their lips, understandable;

as they reign one another.

their hands, undress;

the clothing concealed bodies.

their fingers, unafraid;

of caressing each others privates.

their eyes, unbroken;

from their closed gaze.

their breath, uncanny;

for their slow rhythms differ.

their lust, undeniable;

to the pair as they share each other.

their movement, unaffected;

by their surroundings and desires.

"darling, i will keep you in my heart."

false flattery.

2009-04-06T18:04:00.005+08:00

"your parents must be assholes,
cause you are the shit."

the pick up lines.

"my dick just died,
can i bury it in your ass?"

the dirty jokes.

"I didn’t have any body piercing until just now.
You pierced my heart."

the cheesy shit.

"If you were a burger at McDonalds,
You would be McGorgeous."

the plain desperate.

"A picture may tell a thousand words,
but when I look at you, I only have three;
I love you."

the romantic facade.

"I am sure that your big eyes,
as when I kiss them,
will then close with pride."

the poetic phrases.

"Tonight will be the night
that I will fall for you."

the lyrical loss.

"Shut up, just shut up.
You had me at hello."

the visual lies.

how will we ever know what's true?

snowman sparrow.

2009-04-06T17:24:00.002+08:00

My father was a snowman, but he melted

All that's left are his eyes [two pieces of coal]
that sit on my kitchen table
and watch me as I walk around the room.

I ate his nose a long time ago.

- sparrow

paper plane.

2009-04-06T13:13:00.004+08:00

i made a heart with my hands.

my soul is an empty carousel at sunset

just tell me something i don't know.

tittering titles.

2009-04-06T12:34:00.003+08:00

1973, as we lay across the universe (middle of nowhere)
it is nine in the afternoon, just you and me
with a kiss from a rose; we are the center of attention.
you hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me as you have
the lips of an angel. you hold me like a microphone
and i whisper, "your body is a wonderland."
and all those nights, all those yesterdays, your love was a lie.
you and your poker face, fooled me again.
i don't care about your lips like morphine.
remember me this way, as the broken man.
i'm still learning to breathe in the city of devils.
unsatisfied, i kissed a girl but you know i love you.
"i want you to want me," the moment i said it,
you left me, hopeless and unwanted.
how many times, how many lies; it ends tonight.
all hail the heartbreaker, and there you go again
it's true when they say that

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.

i write sins not tragedies;

thanks for the memories.

cum cappuccino.

2009-04-01T17:29:00.006+08:00

[ what you are about to read,
may confuse you,
startle you and who knows
for some of the kinky ones;
it'll excite you. enjoy. ]

a cup of cappuccino; that's what you are.
the fragrance, the aroma, the scent fills my lungs.
the container stands still as i take a stroll,
balancing on the edges of the rim as the steam
oozes up my spine; sending several shivers.
it was intriguing, it was enticing, it was inviting.

how can you disagree? neither scalding hot
nor deep freeze, it was perfect in temperature.
taking my chances from time to time i would
occasionally have a dip, have a taste of
what is beneath all those dark beans and foam.

"MILK!" i call out, "I SMELL MILK"

oh and boy, do i see it as well. excellently shaped,
incredibly white as I did the only thing left to do,
i stop with the foreplay. i stop with the teasing.
no more occasional dips, my clothes are off
and all i want to do is dive in.
i catch my breath before i drown, and i take
a very long and deep breath before i start sinking in.
my teeth, my lips, my tongue; they're everywhere.
searching, looking for that extra bit of flavour.

i suck on hard as i find the source of the sweetness.
the source of the foam, the milk, the foam.
i bite, i gnaw, i suckle; and in turn the foam turns
milkier, whiter...almost virgin-like.
as if for the first time, the first taste is the most
delicate thing it has ever felt, ever seen, ever smelt.
spinning and twisting and swiveling,

a mix of colours all rush together.

a mix of scents all join together.

milk, beans, foam; i taste all of you

and i want
more
more
more
more.

but i have to stop,
there's always a limit to these things
and before i know it;
my breath smells of you, cappuccino.
my clothes stink of you, cappuccino.
my cum smells like; coffee.

i've taken my swim a bit too far this time.
oops.

but i'm still hungry;

why don't you come over and feed me this time?

funny thing is: i don't even drink coffee

stay strong.

2009-03-26T19:59:00.005+08:00

three words: i admire you

ignore what they say.
ignore what they whisper.
ignore what they see.

just ignore them.

it's their loss.
it's their flaw,

it was never yours.

i admire you,
i adore you.

you inspire me;

to see greater things.

you encourage me;

to feel better.

there are many stories out there that needs to be heard;
and you were brave enough to share parts of yours to us.
many people are looking for something to believe in;
and you have given exactly that to some of us.

[ i may be just speaking to myself but maybe someone else out there thinks the same ]

others may not approve of what you say,
what you believe in,
what you do
but what matters is what you truly think.
we both know, and even the rest out there who bother,
that you believe in yourself truly deep down inside
and that you will fight for what's right no matter what happens.
such bravery should not be teased,
such bravery should be admired
and for those who are shunned;
such bravery should be envied.

keep doing what you do.
keep saying what you say.
keep feeling what you feel.

cause those messages in the box,
are nothing compared to your moving movies.
those messages in the box,
can be easily kept and locked away.
those messages in the box,
are monumentally stupid.
those messages in the box,
are written by a group of imbeciles.
those messages in the box,
can only be done by simpletons.

insulted,
disparaged;
and still you stood standing.

worthless.
hopeless.
useless.

that's them;

never you.

what you do, is up to you.
what you feel, is your choice.

"and no matter what they do,
no matter what they say
there's a happy smiling face that comes your way."

stay strong,
lord knows;
we need someone like you
in the world we are in today.

Brian Anand Soosay, i admire you.

going gaga.

2009-03-25T21:17:00.003+08:00

"tell me that i won't feel a thing,
so give me Novocaine."

it spreads, therefore contagious.
eating me up with the hunger it holds
and colouring me green.

i'm jealous.

there we go, those two words sound so pathetic
even when it is just typed out.

envious?

fuck no, let's not go that far.
so my skin is turning green,
my mind is unclean.
i can't think of anybody other than you
but then again you haven't got a clue.

too stupid, too infatuated.
with her and only her.
i'm so sick.
coughing up and choking at my jealousy.

all your "secret" messages are only for her to read,
too bad i can see right through you.

all your "underlying" notes are only for her to see,
too bad i know you too well.

all your "unrequited" feelings are only for her and only her,
too bad she'll never feel the same way.

"i loved you first,"

baby, you say we're history
but i sure do miss the damn past.

"ouch, i have lost myself again."

it's all because of you
that i'm going through
such a predicament
such a situation
such a life

just because i can't have you.

i'm lost.
i'm gone.
i'm done.

it is over.

it was.

how many times do i have to keep going through this?

"i'm tired of being sorry."

so sick of love songs.
so sick of those couples.
so sick of the movies.
so sick of my poems.
so sick of valentines day.

i'm turning pale, getting cold as ice.
ill because of you. exhausted and tired.
frail and fragile.

"i know i don't belong,
in that room i see him
i see him and he's with her
i turn and then i'm gone."

jiggly joelle.

2009-03-24T20:23:00.002+08:00

He never cared about her, much. From the way
he moved across the crowded room, it was true
when they say that he is unfaithful, to her dismay.
Nothing can stop his affairs which she has no clue.
They call him the Casanova who sleeps around
without any care for the rumours that spread
like a wild bush fire. No one utters a sound
as they know how his lustful desires are fed.
Oblivious she is as she hums a tone and sings
to the chirping birds. Laughter in her eyes,
dipped into the pureness of holy water as she brings
no worry or fray. Stupid, they call her after countless of tries.
The Don Juan flirts with the wanton of the night
as she smiles sweetly without fighting for her right.

[for joelle who needed a sonnet written for her english class.]
i could so become the new Shakespeare for all you know
(sarcasm was intended on the last orange line)

another apple.

2009-03-13T18:06:00.004+08:00

[just a little warning: this post contains subtle sexual content so do not be disgusted or even surprised with the erection you guys might suddenly get.]

i think the human race is too curious for their own good
and maybe even too imaginative,

because when i look at you
i think of you as this cup of flavoured ice cream
from Ben and Jerry's or perhaps even Haagen Dazs,
and you are just staring back at me, waiting for me
to be the spoon to scoop you up
and lick you all over.

yum.

i could pluck that apple of yours
from your very trunk, anytime darling.
it'll just be another apple falling onto my lap;
and trust me when i say,

i bite hard.

ying yang.

2009-03-12T22:16:00.004+08:00

"and everyone's talking how i can't be your love,
but i want to be your love."

my reference to love songs,
my reference to love quotes,
my reference to love stories,
my reference to love poems,
is not a symptom of

lovesickness.

"and your smile is tattooed on my mind."

oh, his smile makes my heart skip a beat.
i think i'm new to this feeling.
this feeling of uneasiness and insecurity.

a mixture of sadness and a tinge of bliss.
a mixture of fear and a tinge of courage.
a mixture of hate and a tinge of love.

i don't like you, that's for sure.
i don't even think i want to be with you, that's for certain.

but i long for your voice to fill most of my conversations,
for your touch to caress my skin,
for your eyes to linger on my endless smiles,
for your lips to touch mine.

you leave me breathless;

GASP.

you leave me yearning;

BANG.

you leave me struggling;

CRASH.

you leave me crying;

DRIP.

you leave me falling;

DROP.

"were you thinking of me when you kissed her
could you taste me when you licked her skin?"
[i'm not jealous, and i'm not green with envy.
but hearing you were with another girl
makes me miss you even more;
makes me want you even more.]

gorgeous girl.

2009-03-10T18:13:00.001+08:00

"trust me when i say,
that i'll be okay."

here's the verdict in the court room that takes place
in my very bemused heart;

i am guilty.

i miss him.

impish ignorance.

2009-03-08T10:35:00.006+08:00

"i'm learning to fall,
i can't hardly breathe."

i flirt with danger, i know
and the trouble is; it flirts back.

loveology.
[the love for beautiful things]

the twist on my sheets,
reveal my uneasy sleepless nights.
the drips on my windows,
show the chaos of raindrops.
the scatter of crumpled parchments
expose the lack of words to explain

what exactly is going on.

i can't explain it
but i want you to want me
and yet, i don't want you at all.

lozzi lollipop.

2009-03-04T22:01:00.005+08:00

she's sitting alone on her bed,
with her phone attached to her head.
she's thinking about a certain dick,
who is rumoured to have been with another chick.

but she shouldn't be thinking much about it,
because she isn't gay or naive, it's just him being a git.
she is a beautiful person who needs to see
that i am willing to take her on a shopping spree.

even if i have to spend all my money
just so she will notice that there are sweeter honey.
but then again, he may have a reason
for being the faggot of the season.

just take a deep breath and close your eyes
don't waste your tears don't even try.
he's not worth it, not now at least
you guys will sort it out, even if he is a beast

the rumours might not be true, it could all be a lie
so don't think much about it or say goodbye,
because he might need time to explain
and release you from your pain.

just remember, that if things go wrong
that i will be here for you, i'll even sing you a song.
but my voice isn't good, so don't worry
i'm sure he'll call and he'll be sorry.

this is for you my bella donna,
love you woman.

big boobs.

2009-03-04T18:04:00.003+08:00

it's annoying.
it's annoying.

you blab and blab on and on about yourself.

just stop it.

i love you, i do.

but i get where she [the only part italian woman i know]
is coming from when she says

"shut the fuck up."

pretty passerby.

2009-03-03T22:54:00.004+08:00

looking through,
reminiscing the past.
i come across this;

"Jarrah, you've been with me forever"

and i still am babes.

heavy hearts.

2009-03-02T23:20:00.002+08:00

"i'm over you," i say over and over again.

just because she goes on and on about him,

does not mean she likes him.

just because she can't stop thinking about him,

does not mean she likes him.

just because all she ever talks about is him,

does not mean she likes him.

does this look familiar to you?

all these symptoms.
the longing looks, the aching heartbeat, the jumpy start,
the sensational pounding and many more.
these symptoms show that i have been caught, yet again.
in that web that he has weaved.

trapped.

however, it's not the same.
it never is.
i've never been in love,
and i have never been in a serious relationship.

but i don't feel like i am missing out on anything.
i stare at couples, some of which are my very good friends,
and i envy their joy and capability of sharing.
but i don't envy what they have.

i don't want to be a

girlfriend.

i don't want to be a

wife.

i don't want to have

kids.

i don't want to have a

wedding.

will that change?
who the hell cares.

right now, i am infatuated.
and maybe even missing someone.

the phrase; "you were my first,"

would seem irrelevant, but there's an underlying meaning to it.

just read between my bed sheets and then you'll see.

foolish feud.

2009-02-25T21:47:00.004+08:00

as the saying once went "i come in peace."

how unbelievable.
it's amazing how people interpret things
and tend to assume the worst
[no sarcasm intended]

people exaggerate, it's what we're like.
but i never meant to "bitch"
not my intention at all.

this is exactly what i mean by "awkward".
there's no such thing as us being able to be perfectly 'normal'
with each other, when the other person seems to be
suspicious of the other.

that's all i meant. i wouldn't bitch about you, not now.

because i've moved on and i'm fine.

maybe even care.

i mean no harm in writing this.
none at all;
so tell that person who told you what she "heard"
that she should be careful next time.
and that isn't a threat;
take it as a friendly advice, because she thought wrong.
i know we aren't close.
i know we aren't friends.

but i wouldn't bitch about you for no reason.

from this post; you may think i'm lying,
or just being plain pathetic.
but this is just me being honest and hoping
that this foolish "feud" will come to an end.

lies can destroy relationships;

even the ones that were once strong.

till today

2009-02-24T20:40:00.003+08:00

the man of my 'dreams'

"you remind me of someone," he told me;
i look down at my feet whilst a smile played on my lips,
"oh and who could that be?"
i ask him as my eyes playfully twinkle
as i watch him chuckle for a moment, before he
leans in closer to me and whispers,
"someone very close to me,"
and with that he had pulled me in.
i was being invited into the window of his heart,
and i could not find the courage to deny such invitation.
intrigued, i glanced at him. his lips, which i longed to touch
were pink and luscious. his eyes, were staring longingly at me.
his hair, danced along with the breezy air. everything was,
simply and utterly perfect. "who was she?"
i managed to choke out.
no hint of despair crossed his face. not a tinge of remorse
or even reminiscence was exposed. he remained calm and serene,
looking beautiful as ever with a smile plastered on his
pale porcelain skin. "she doesn't matter now,"
and he proved his point by sinking those lips against mine.
his hands wrapped around me, my hair blowing around our
intertwined figure.

everything was exotically exciting.

and before anything more could happen a knock on my door

interrupts the scene.

i finally wake up.

in all my life, taking a nap in the afternoon has never hurt me;

till today.

i never dreamt whilst taking a nap;

till today.

and my dream was so vague.
so surreal.
it felt nice.
but at the same time, it has left me bemused.
with only one question on my mind, i wonder;

who is he?

longing looks

2009-02-23T17:30:00.003+08:00

[ if it sounds like i'm talking to about you,
maybe i am ]

even if he leaves,
even if he hates,
even if he avoids,
even if it hurts...

he'll always remain in your heart.

even if you believe,
even if you try,
even if you cry,
even if it ended...

he'll always be a part of you.

even if he treated you badly,
even if he barely glanced at you,
even if he had no idea what you went through,
even if he was stupid...

it's still hard to forget;

how he made you feel,
how he makes your heart jump,
how he added colours into your the black and white vision,
how he was sweet and gentle...

it never stops.

you may get over him.
the tears may have stopped.
you may be friends with him.
the avoiding may have ceased.

but nothing really has changed.

except for;
you.

molecular model

2009-02-22T20:49:00.002+08:00

money is for nothing,
as chicks are for free.

i want to catch your attention,
but to do so i have to strike a pose
imitating Marilyn Monroe
to depict an image of a rose.

you enter my dreams
as Fred to my image of Holly.
we'll have breakfast at tiffany's
and i'll demurely kiss your cheek
as i leave you hanging on for more.

believe me when i say that i pray
to be a goddess-like beauty such as
Serena and catch the eyes of many.

a model walking on the streets,
with wavy length hair and penetrating eyes.
i'll be your alba with a hint of princess hathaway,
if you'll be my hunky heath.

i need to believe that we
will stay together,
no matter who we are.

i'm no cinderella with a glass slipper
to bring us together.
i'm no snow white, with a wicked witch
watching my every step.
i'm no jasmine, with a flying carpet
to take us all around the world.

you're not edward cullen
and you don't have to be.
i just want you to see,
that i like you the way you are.

pervading plastic

2009-02-22T16:05:00.003+08:00

first rule to happiness:
don't kiss it hello, or it'll kiss you goodbye.

Why'd you have to go
And leave me at home
How could you assume
That I would be fine on my own
Everyone's around
Watching me drown in the deep end of self-misery

Now you can tell why I needed you bad
Baby you are the star of the show
I'm just the opening act no one came here to see
Now it's all up to me and
I can't do it alone

How can I go on
Knowing you're oceans away
How can I be strong
When you are the source of my strength
Tell me I'm not wrong
To say that I miss you again and again and again

Now you can tell why I needed you bad
Baby you are the star of the show
I'm just the opening act no one came here to see
Now it's all up to me and
I can't do it alone

Remind me to breathe
Cause I can't help from choking
I'm lost and I'm scared and I'm just short of broken
You said it's okay
But that's where you're mistaken
I may be alive, I'm not well
I can't do it alone

inspired by mark beasley,
whom i have fallen in love with <3

run

2009-02-21T22:40:00.005+08:00

"I'm sorry," she told me, again and again
"But I can't...
I've got to get going, your movement is slow
And our time here has come to an end
I know we'd be perfect
The risk would be worth it
If you could have only spoke up
But now it's a blown chance at a beautiful romance
That just started when it broke up"

'Cause there's something wrong with my heart
It's been impaired from the start
I wish I could blame it on somebody else
But I know, I know

That I run, run, run from whatever's behind
Try to never surrender
But every time I find a good thing, I give it away
And I don't have a reason why

So I'm leaving here lonely
With no one to show me
The way that I'm supposed to hang on
And the problem with growing
Is learning that only the pain can get rid of what's wrong
So I'll keep fighting allies
And spending my goodbyes
On everyone trying to love
I'll throw away friendships
With people that meant it
And those who seemed sent from above

[a song i can relate to]

what's wrong

2009-02-21T22:01:00.005+08:00

i dedicate this post to all those out there;

who need to hear it.

those who need something;

to hang on to.

those who need someone;

to depend on.

those who need these words;

to ignite the flame back in their hearts.

this is for those out there who are waiting for
without a flaw Mr Right, the constantly swooned over Prince Charming,
the gallant "knight in shining armour",
depiction of male beauty Brad Pitt;

and the perfect man of our dreams.

it's okay to dream once and again of the certain guy that you want.
the yearning for someone to love and care about,
-someone to requite those ardent feelings,
-someone to touch your helpless heart,
-someone to bring you back to life,
-someone to simply love you.

you want to be with him,

he wants to be with either another girl
or no one.

you either give up and move on,
or make a move and be hopeful.

the former is the smarter move but the latter is easier.

i'm not an expert or even a love guru,
but i'm a victim, not of cupids arrow as i have never been in love
nor do i believe in love, but i have experienced the yearn
for a man to come along and look at me with admiration.

as a victim of such, i have been hurt and left broken.
i've had friends who have been and still are, in similar situations.
some of them are more courageous than i ever was,
some are not as flamboyant in displaying their feelings.

whoever you are,
whichever you are,
wherever you are,
whatever you may be...

don't worry.

you may feel alone but just remind yourself that you are not the only one
who has been left alone to mend a cracked heart that has stopped beating.

i miss waking up in the mornings and thinking "i'll see him today,"
and it'll get me singing in the shower or daydreaming about the inevitable.
who cares if it's admiration from afar?
at least i haven't been rejected.

but the walks on cloud nine and bounces up the stairs stopped
once i told him and the words were not returned.
there was no exchange of smiles; only a pathetic exchange
of sorrow and pity.
a disappointed face walks away as a worried one stares after the slouching figure.

and when that happened, when i woke up on my bed
i would be thinking of how foolish i was.
i would slap myself in the forehead and close my eyes,
hoping that i would disappear.

first comes the affection,
then the rejection,
the denial
then the hate
and if you're lucky the comprehension.

so far, i'm still on hate and in my opinion i am no closer in comprehending
what had happened or what i've done wrong.
those may be the steps but it varies on each person's situation.

you may think i'm talking about you; but who knows
maybe i actually am.
i might not know what i'm writing but do you know what you're reading?

the point is:
there is nothing wrong with what you feel
[mostly] only in the way the other person does.

corny curses.

2008-12-30T01:27:00.002+08:00

another friend of mine out there needs to see this,

the time may be ticking, but the point is they are waiting.
there's a line outside the very heart of your door
and all you need is to decide;

whether your heart should still wait for that one guy
or you should start and share your heart to others.

i'm here for you dear
and so is jarod as well as sean.
we love you.

always will.

apologizing again.

2008-12-30T01:11:00.004+08:00

to a friend who knocked some sense into me today,

i'm sorry for doing this to you constantly,
sorry for dumping all my problems on you.
that everytime you pick your phone up
and see my name flashing
that you'd know what to expect to hear from me.
thing is, when i call you all i expect to hear

are six words ;

"what did you do this time?"

i don't do what i do, because i think my life sucks.
i don't know if you'll ever understand
but i hope you can.
i do what i do; we do what we do
because it's the way we are i guess.
it's a lifestyle we chose.

and i may be a fool to chose it,
but what else can i do?

i sat alone on christmas eve
i stayed all night watching reruns in my living room,
crunching on a bag of chips.
it kept me happy,
but what else could a lonely girl wish for?

and on the day of christmas itself,
all i got was the presence of being alone.

but the past few nights and days ever since
have been great. sure, i miss the times i had
when i was not this fucked.
but some of us, can't freely chose our paths.
what happens to me, happens to a lot of people out there.

and i just wanted to tell someone,
to have someone listen and not judge me.
you know, it's so hard for me to talk to people.
but i decided to call you today,
because i was thinking

"she would believe me. she would listen to me."

i love you too, and care about you too.
and i'm sorry if i've been stupid and foolish lately.
but that's the way i am.
if we are ever going to stay friends,
we'll have to understand our differences.

sad song.

2008-12-25T20:30:00.003+08:00

i wake up one morning to find myself alone once again,
i look around my home and notice that no one else is around.
however, the hardest part is knowing
that no one is coming for me.

that no one is going to be joining me tonight on my dinner table
and it hurts but it's something that i will have to live with.
my speakers blare out a sad song of melancholy
as i sit on the wooden chair and pick on the little food i have.
each lyric, each word that i listen to
ignites a cold flame in my lonely heart.
it also forms an icy tear in my eyes.

if only you're here to see the pain in me
or feel the love and hope leaving my soul.
i cry for an angel each sleepless night
and i fear that a beautiful devil shall enter my life instead

but it's too late.

i still remember your smile
as i have the lines and the curves
embedded in my memories.
i want to put your voice
and words into ink on a piece of paper
but i find it hard to get my hands to move.
to get my mind to focus
on a happy memory of us.

they seemed to have vanished
along with our love.

all i want to do is show you the place in my heart
where i have always kept you,
the place where i have locked all my hope in.
the place where i wish we both end up in.

there's a fear that is surfacing
and blocking all our love from being exposed
but i do miss you.

as i sit on the wooden chair,
picking of what is left of my food
whilst i listen to another poignant song,
i think about you and the times we've had.

as i stand on my own two feet,
looking at the pictures displayed on my wall
whilst i listen to the silent screams coming from within me,
i think about the times that you weren't there for me

and how each and one of those people that i have posted up on my wall,
how each and one of those people in those pictures
have been there for me when you weren't.

i could say i miss you over and over again,
but you're not here to hear the words.
i could tell you how much i love you,
but you're not here to deny the words.
i could voice out my apologies,
but you're not here to brush them off.

so, here i am
standing on my own two feet
staring at the wooden chair
where i have had my own fair share of wonders

and i'm thinking,

where are you?

even on the day of giving,
you can't seem to give me one thing that i want.
one thing that i have been asking you
ever since i entered this world,

your love.

i’m always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

but what worries me even more is how much i have destroyed
our relationship.
how much i have damaged what little there is left of us.
we may still love each other,
but nothing can go back to the way it is.

i've made mistakes just like you have,
and just like anyone else in this world
they say that it is harder to forget
than it is to forgive.

and two months ago,
when we were smiling together
and laughing at each others jokes
i would have agreed
as you had forgiven me for what i had done
and i had also forgiven you for what you had said.
and even though we would never forget the broken
vein in the heart we share,
we were still able to smile
and laugh.

but look at us now,
so far apart from each other
and i'm here all alone without my father to tell me
that he loves me.
without my father
to wish me a merry christmas.
to kiss me on the forehead and tell me that he has
forgiven me.

i, therefore disagree that it is easier to forgive
than it is to forget...

because what is there to forgive,
when you forget that you have left your daughter
all alone
on the eve of christmas
and the day of christmas itself.

it's nice knowing that you have forgotten of my existence,
the past several days of being alone has hit me hard
but i'm done.

merry christmas.

posting possibilities.

2008-12-24T20:23:00.001+08:00

“

I shouldn’t have to apologize for this, but I’m sorry I still think about you. Maybe this is the way it has to be, maybe this is as much as I can ever get over you and everything you’ve made me thought I felt.

Remember the very last time we talked? In the midst of laughter you said that we never seem to get past this silliness, this senselessness. But that’s not true, dear friend, because there are so much we had been serious about: my dreams, your dreams, my future, your future, my life, your life. Did you forget?

Or am I allowed to be unafraid this time and contemplate the possibility of you referring to something else instead? Something intent, something important, something we never did question each other. Something like love.

I wish we hadn’t made the change; I wish it was like the old times, just you and me, instead of you and me and the meaningless need to decipher those distractions. You would never, for a moment, believe that it could be you anyway, would you?

I can’t understand why it’s so damn hard to let you out of my life, dear friend, because you were never very real. Some part of you must have been a figment of my imagination; how can two people stay so ambiguous and yet so out of love?

I despise myself for letting you do this to me, for allowing this nothingness the tenacity to crawl under my skin and steal my heart away. I could be so happy without you, so much happier without you; if I didn’t always wonder whether I would be the happiest with you.

”

this is an inspiring entry, that i feel i can relate to.

i came across this and i don't know if i was meant to find it

or if it was just an accident.

but whatever it is, i'm glad i found it.

this post belongs to xin and this person

posted this on the ninth of March over three years ago.

sticky situation.

2008-12-18T20:40:00.004+08:00

i have a friend,
who i deeply care for
and she isn't afraid to admit
that she still has feelings for him.

and here i am staring at my ever so clean ceiling,
thinking "how about me?"
do i still have feelings for him?

i ask myself,
does my heart beat faster when i see him?

no, it doesn't.

unlike my friend,
i do not stare at pictures of us
i do not get a tremendous sensation when i see him.
i do not wish i was still with him.
i do not make myself hate him
i do not convince myself that i am not good enough for him.

also,
unlike my friend,
i do not feel the same way about him.

unlike her,
i'm not as brave.

but i want to.
i miss it.
i loved it.
at the same time i hated him.

both of us, are in the same sticky situation
we are both single.
she still likes him
and finds it hard to get over him.
i do not like him
but find it hard to not get over him.

can i hear anyone say,

"fucked" ?

the thing about my friend is that,
she is gorgeous...
beautiful even.
boys out there want her
but she strongly wants one man.
and one boy only.

i sometimes wonder,
when she is with another guy
does his face pop up?

because when i am with another boy,
his face flashes.
does that mean i am not over him?
my heart does not beat for him
my face does not flush for him
my eyes does not tear for him

and yet...

sean, what the fuck is wrong with me?

2008-12-18T19:47:00.002+08:00

to that darling friend of mine who is so far away,

i would tell you that i am here for you,
i would tell you what i want to tell you.
that i love you
that i care about you
and that i miss you

but what's the point?
all you ever talk about is him
and i don't mind.
i love it.
i love how you can talk to me about him.
i love listening to you
i love being your friend
being a person in your life
being a person who cares for you
who loves you

but you brush me off,
it is you who brushes me off.
and when i ask you "why?"
all you say is that i never listen.

but i do,
i listen to you say the same thing twice
three times
four times
over and over again.

i never get tired of it,

till now.

and why?
all because you tell me that i never listen.
what hurts the most,
is the fact that you turned to nikolai
over me.

i'm fine with it.
i can understand it if you guys are friends,
but the fact that you told me
that you talk to him
because i do not listen,
it hurts.

i do listen,
and just because i say things that you do not want to hear,
does not mean that you did not need to hear it.

i love you,

and i hope you can just realize

that alex isn't the only one who cares about you.

depicting desires.

2008-12-18T19:12:00.003+08:00

i'm here for you,

just so you know.

you can talk about him all night long
and i will listen.

i will tell you what you need to hear,
when you desperately need to hear it.

i will slap some sense into you,
when you need the stinging sensation.

a shoulder to cry on, i'm here for you.
an eager ear, i'm hear for you.
a lending hand to help you up, i'm here for you.

i may not be an expert when it comes to relationships,
seeing as how it is one of my biggest fears,
may even be the biggest.
but when it comes to you or anyone else i care for,
i will listen and i will hold back my personal opinions
so that i can help you.

it's hard, but what isn't?

when you need me to say "hello asshole,
what can i do for you?"
i sure as hell will scream it out.
when you need to hear a "fuck you, you're
being stupid."
i will make it as blunt as i can
but also,
when you need to hear a
"i'm here for you,"
or
"i love you,"

i will say it,
anytime
anywhere.

but we both know,
who you really want to say those words
to you.

it's okay though right?
at least, if i say it
it's true.

i'm here for you,

always.

i do love you.

conversing corrosively.

2008-12-17T19:23:00.002+08:00

to a very dear friend of mine,

you are thousands of miles away from me;

physically
and emotionally.

i try to talk to you,
you don't say much.

what the fuck is going on?
what have i done this time?
is it because i was harsh to you that time?

you needed to hear those words, dear.
and i do care about you.

it's not my fault, you chose not to see it.
it's not my fault, that you chose not to listen to me.

you are so far away from me,
so distant.

"what's wrong?" i ask you
and all you say is "nothing"
"how are you?" i try and urge you to speak
but all you say is "alright."

how am i supposed to help you,
when you can't even help yourself?
how am i supposed to listen to you,
when you won't even say more than one word?

what the fuck have i done?

and who the fuck are you?

boring bitch.

2008-12-17T18:23:00.002+08:00

boredom has a new face,

and it looks like yours.

i've redecorated my walls.
i think i need to redecorate my life as well,
including my wardrobe.
seeing as how, most of it is in the trash.

the things people do when they get mad.

making monsters.

2008-12-15T19:05:00.003+08:00

The [After] Life of the Party

we pulled it off, yet again.
one heck of a night
one heck of a morning
two noise complaints.

what more could we do to make the night wilder?

a lot more,
and we did.

oh how we did.

sarah sucks.

2008-12-05T21:12:00.002+08:00

sarah sucks, but not in that way.
as in in THAT way.
the sexual way,
the way that makes me moan
the way that it pleasures me...

*hint *hint

You have been cordially invited,
to a party you will never forget.

A time and place where there are no rules

and guidance.

a time when you can be alone with that ONE GIRL you want

[yes sarah i am talking to you]

and do ANYTHING you want to

[sarah, im yourssssssss]

SHOTGUN ONE BED

[there is a double meaning to shotgun]

dedicated to the stalker who wrote on my chatbox <3

miserably moaning

2008-11-29T22:57:00.001+08:00

i hate mannequins
i am jealous of them
i hate mannequins
i am jealous of them

mannequins suck.

evil eye

2008-11-25T19:32:00.004+08:00

i don't know why i do it.
every time i see you,

i watch you.
even if it's blur.

i don't know why i do it.
every time i hear you,

i listen to your voice
even if it's just for a while.

i don't know why i do it.
every time i think of you,

i confuse myself terribly
even if i know exactly why

i think about you.

you make me sound like a girl

who is crazy about a boy.

you make me sound like a girl

who is crazy about you.

but i'm not.

i should know.

because i know what it feels like.

i know what it feels like.

i know
i know
i know
i know
i know
i know
i know
i know
i know

sexily smirking.

2008-11-24T21:46:00.003+08:00

i
do
not
want
to
know
.that
you
know
that
it
should
have
been
me

=

a boy who is far much older than i am,
told me today
that smoking
is like
sex.

i disagree.

you smoke alone.
you puff and huff...
alone.

but sex, is different.
sex is passionate.
it can be quick
it can be repetitive.

it is different.
so deal with it.

i have a feeling i'm going to delete this post.

lipstick lullabies

2008-11-22T16:20:00.002+08:00

i did not even notice that you said anything
till i looked around the room

and you were gone.

i did not even notice that you said goodbye
till i looked around the room

and you were gone.

i did not even notice that we are not friends
till i looked around the room

and you were gone.

i did not even notice that you were gone
till i looked around the room

and found you nowhere.

i miss you old friend.

i don't love you.
i don't like you.

but that doesn't mean i can't miss

an old friend.

because i do.
and whenever i see you,
my heart tightens.

and i don't know why.
because i don't love you
nor do i like you.

but when i see you in a crowded room,
a smile appears on my face.

and when i see you in that empty corner,
i bite my lip and try to look away.

i want to talk to you.
i want to see you.
i want to speak to you.
i want to hear you.

but i know i can't.

i miss you,

old friend.