impressive introductions.

{always judge a person by the looks they give you}
|but never judge a person, by the gifts they give you|

introductions are very tricky things. first impressions are normally wrong. they say 'don't judge a book by it's cover' but it's our instinct to do so. it's how we survive: we judge and decide. that is why right now, i want you to judge me. by the time you reach the very end of this post, have a go at judging me because i have always wondered what my book cover would look like.

right now, i will give you the blurb of the book and the pages that the book conceals inside will be uncovered after this post. right now let us focus on the blurb of the book, the part where it gives you an idea of what the book will be like. of what i will be like.

right now i feel numb. no feelings whatsoever are running through me. just numb.

i won't say i am you're average teenage girl, i'll be honest. i live a fairly unusual life that sometimes has it's depressing moments just like anyone else in the world. i'm the kind of girl who smiles at herself in the mirror just to see how well she can fake it. how well she can fake the emotions [or lack off] that are running through her. the mirror shows the truth and that's why it scares me sometimes because i run away from the truth. my feet don't carry me far though and that's why i always find myself stuck with decisions that i do not want to make.

my family life is screwed.
i don't want your sympathy because i frankly find that insulting and i will not be disparaged at my own blog. i have enough negative remarks called out to me at my life at home.
i have a mother and father which i am grateful for because i have friends who only have one and i see what they have to go through and sometimes feel guilty for "hating" my parents.

i am aware that hate is a big word, hence the quotation marks. however, you can't honestly say that there has never been a point in your life that you have never felt a very strong dislike towards your parents because that is exactly what i meant/mean.

i only live with my father who is rarely around.
needless to say, my parents are seperated and are going through a divorce at the moment.
and i am really glad that they are going to get a divorce. so glad.
i don't know how many kids who are in the same situation as me can say that but it's just how i feel. i really can't wait for the day my mother and father have no connection to each other whatsoever...

but one evidence that their relationship happened is me.

m e .

look at me.
tell me if you like what you see.
for then i shall forever be free.
granted to be
just the girl i always wanted to be.

<3 atoning for all the mistakes,
averynumbjazz